logical but not legal

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization" , astudent goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question.If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is andgo. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A"for the exam. "
Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, andneither logical, nor legal?"Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot givethe student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an"A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him thesame question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that youhave given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should havefailed, is neither legal, nor logical."

Quotations

Science without religion is lame,
Religion without science is blind.

Impress a Client !!

I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeksago.
While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner,enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late. Well, being astraightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman,introduced myself, and said, "Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor."
"Yes?"
"I'm sitting right over there," pointing to my seat at the bar, and I'mwaiting for a very important client. Would you be so kind when shearrives as to come walk by and just say "Hi Tom?" "Sure."I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.

About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink andstarted to talk business.
A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It Was Bill Gates. "Hi, Tom," he said.
I replied, "Shut up, Bill, I'm in a meeting."

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

The Great Indian Lion

In a poor zoo of India, a lion was frustrated as he was offered notmore than 1 kg meat a day.

One day the lion thought its prayers were answered when a US ZooManager visited the zoo and requested the zoo management to shift thelion to a US zoo.The lion was pleased and started thinking of acentral A/C environment, a goat or two every day and a US Green Card.

On it's first day after arrival, the lion was offered a big bag,sealed very nicely, for breakfast. It opened the bag quickly but wasshocked to see that it contained only a few bananas.Controlling its anger, the lion thought that may be they cared toomuch for him as they were worried about his stomach as he had recentlyshifted from India. The next day the same thing happened. On the thirdday again the same food bag of bananas was delivered.

Now the lion was furious. It stopped the delivery boy and blastedhim,"Don't you know, I am the lion...King of the Jungle....What' swrong with your management? What nonsense is this? Why are youdelivering bananas to me ?"

The delivery boy politely said, "Sir, I know you are the King of theJungle but....do you know that you have been brought here on amonkey's visa!!!Moral : Better to be a Lion in India than a Monkey elsewhere .....

NEVER GIVE UP

Dealing with insult

The Buddha explained how to handle insult and maintain compassion.One day Buddha was walking through a village.

A very angry and rude young man came up and began insulting him. "You have no right teaching others," he shouted. "You are as stupid as everyone else. You are nothing but a fake.

"Buddha was not upset by these insults. Instead he asked the young man "Tell me, if you buy a gift for someone, and that person does not take it, to whom does the gift belong?"

The man was surprised to be asked such a strange question and answered, "It would belong to me, because I bought the gift."The Buddha smiled and said, "That is correct. And it is exactly the same with your anger. If you become angry with me and I do not get insulted, then the anger falls back on you. You are then the only one who becomes unhappy, not me. All you have done is hurt yourself."

"If you want to stop hurting yourself, you must get rid of your anger and become loving instead. When you hate others, you yourself become unhappy. But when you love others, everyone is happy."The young man listened closely to these wise words of the Buddha. "You are right, o Enlightened One, "he said. "Please teach me the path of love. I wish to become your follower.

"The Buddha answered kindly, "Of course. I teach anyone who truly wants to learn. Come with me."

No Witness Left

A tough bank robber barged into a bank and yelled loudly with a raised gun,
"This is a bank robbery, everybody surrender”. He quickly rounded up all the customers along with wetpant
bank guard together, then rushed to the teller and asked her to fill up his bag with money, which she did.
He then turned to a shivering rounded up customer and asked, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The customer thought truth always wins, so he said, ""Yes sir, I saw you rob this bank."
The robber fired the gun and bang, shot the man dead.
Then he turned to a shivering couple and asked the husband, "Did you see me rob this bank?"
The man replied, "No, no, no, sir I did not, but this my wife, she sure did."

Quotation

Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm.

D story of Parrots

A woman went to her priest with a problem.

"Father, I have two female parrots, and they only know how to say one thing. All they ever say is, 'Hi, we're prosti*utes. Wanna have some fun?' ".

"That's terrible!" exclaimed the priest.But I think I can help. Bring your two female parrots over to my house, and I will put them with my two male parrots whom I taught to pray and read the Bible. My parrots will teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase, and your female parrots will learn to praise and worship"

The next day, the woman brought her female parrots to the priest's house His two male parrots were holding rosary beads and quietly praying in their cage.

The woman put her two female parrots in the cage with the male parrots. The females said, "Hi, we're prostitu*es. Wanna have some fun?"

One male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed
"Put those beads away, our prayers have been answered!"

Computer Terminologies in Hindi

Mr Champu at sword competition

Once there was a sword competition & players from many countries tookpart in that.
From India Mr. Champu took part.

First player came from Germany.He swings the sword & cuts a very thin wire into two parallel parts.

Then comes a Japanese & he cuts the even more thin wire into two parts.

Then comes our very own Champu. He took the sword in one hand & flew a mosquito in the air.

He swings the sword over the mosquito, but mosquito flies away.
Then the judge asked "Kya Champu Ji, machhar to ud gya".

Champu replied, " Ud to gya, per ab kabhi baap nahi banega"