SOME THING ABOUT GIRLS

If you treat her nice she says"Yaar mujhe line de raha hai".

If you don't she says "Kitna akadta hai".

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If you dress nicely she says "Mujhay impress karna chahta hai".

If you don't she says "Tasteless hai yaar".

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If you argue with her she says "Ziddi hai".

If you sit quietly she says "Dumb hai".

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If you act smarter she'll lose her brain as you are insulting her.

If she acts smarter she think its her right.

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If you don't love her she says "Is ka to pehlay say hi 2,3 ladkioon ke saath chakar hai".

If you love her she says "Peechay hi pad gayaa hai".

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If you don't give her a kiss she says "Tum mujh say serious naheen ho".

If you give her a kiss she says "Yaar who ladkaa flirt kar raha hai".

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If you don't tell her your problems she says "You are not honest to me".

If you do tell to her she says "You are a problem child".

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If you scold her she says "You act like a grandpa giving lecture".

If she scolds you she says "Yaar, its because I care".

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If you break a promise she says "He does not trust you any more".

If she breaks she says "Jaan main majboor thi"

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If you smoke she says "You are a bad guy".

If she smokes she says "I need this, please jaanu try to understand".

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If you do good in exams she says "Kismat NE saath diya warna tum or good marks".

If she gets good marks she says "Its my brain".

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If you hurt her she says "You are cruel & don't care of my feelings".

If she hurts you she replies" You are not understanding".

It's called Mindset!!

As my friend was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from the ropes they were tied to but for some reason, they did not. My friend saw a trainer nearby and asked why these beautiful, magnificent animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.
"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free." My friend was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where they were.
Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before? So make an attempt to grow further.... Why shouldn't we try it again?
"YOUR ATTEMPT MAY FAIL, BUT NEVER FAIL TO MAKE AN ATTEMPT."

Save Our Tigers

http://www.saveourtigers.com/

Secrets to a Happy Life

A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.

"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?"

"Well, honey, I smoke five packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "Five packs of cigarettes!! !"

"I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."

"That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?"

"Twenty-eight, " he said.

Chehra Chupa Liya Hai Kisi Ne Hijab Mein

A Nice Story-Father and Son

One old man was sitting with his 25 years old son in the train.
Train is about to leave the station.
All passengers are settling down their seat.
As train started young man was filled with lot of joy and curiosity.He was sitting on the window side.
He went out one hand and feeling the passing air. He shouted, "Papa see all trees are going behind".Old man smile and admired son feelings.
Beside the young man one couple was sitting and listing all the conversion between father and son.They were little awkward with the attitude of 25 years old man behaving like a small child.Suddenly young man again shouted, "Papa see the pond and animals. Clouds are moving with train".Couple was watching the young man embarrassingly.
Now it starts raining and some of the water drops touche the young man's hand.He filled with joy and he closed the eyes.
He shouted again," Papa it's raining, water istouching me, see papa".Couple couldn't help themselves and ask the old man.
"Why don't you visit the Doctor and get treatment for your son."
Old man said," Yes, We are coming from the hospital as today only my son got his eye sight for the first time in his life".
Moral: "Don't draw conclusions until you know all the facts".

Koi Deewana Kehta hai

Shayari

Koi ankhon se baat kar leta hai,
Koi ankhon mein mulakat kar leta hai,
Bada mushkil hota hai jawab dena,
Jab koi khamosh rehkar sawaal kar leta hai.

Tu dekh ya na dekh, tere dekhne ka gam nahi,
Par teri ye na dekhne ki ada dekhne se kam nahi.

Mere haathon se gir gayi lakeeren kahin,
bhool aaye hum apni takdeeren kahin.
Agar mile tumko kahin to utha lena,
mere hisse ki har khushi apne haathon pe saja lena.

Tum milo na milo,na milne ka gham nahi,
tum paas se hi gujar jaao, milne se kum nahi.
maana ki tumhe hamaari kadr nahi,
magar unse puchho jinhe hum haasil nahi.

Chand lamhon ki zindagani hai, nafraton se jiya nahi karte,
lagta hai dusamanon se guzarish karni padegi,
dost to aab yaad kiya nahi karte

Ai mere humnashin chal kahin aur chal,
Is chaman mein ab apna guzaara nahin,
Baat hoti gulon tak to seh lete hum,
Ab to kaanton pe bhi haq hamara nahin.

Zindagi Sirf Mohabbat Nahin Kuch Aur Bhi Hai
Zulf-o-Rukhsaar ki Jannat Nahi Kuch Aur Bhi Hai
Bhookh Aur Pyaas ki Maari Hui Is Duniya Mein
Ishq Hi Ek Haqeeqat Nahin Kuch Aur Bhi Hai.

Manzil unhi ko milti hai, Jinke sapno me jaan hoti hai,
Pankh se kuchh nahi hota, Hauslon se udaan hoti hai.

Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,
Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain,
Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
Jo Mama-Mama kehke bulaate hain.

Jab jab ghire badal teri yaad ayi,
Jab jhoom ke barsa sawan teri yaad ayi,
Jab-jab mein bhiga teri yaad ayi,
Ab raha nahin jata, Chatri Lauta de Bhai.

Dil ka dard dil todne wale kya jane,
Pyar ke rivazon ko zamana kya jane,
Hoti hai kitni takleef ladki patane mein,
Ye ghar pe baitha ladki ka baap kya jaane.

Old AGE

An older couple was lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep, but the wife felt romantic and wanted to talk.

she said, "You use to hold my hand when we were courting."

Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second, and tried to getback to sleep. A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek andsettled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said. "Then you use to bite my neck. "Angrily,he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed."Where are you going ?" she asked.

"To get my teeth!"

Save Planet

Hearing Problem

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the Doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.
Here's what you do," said the Doctor, "stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.

"That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den.

He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens." then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response.

So the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response. Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, Honey, what's for dinner?"
Again he gets no response so; He walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response. So he walks right up behind her.
"Honey, what's for dinner?"
"James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

Two Angels !

Two traveling angels stopped to spend the night in the home of a wealthy family.
The family was rude and refused to let the angels stay in the mansion's guest room. Instead the angels were given a space in the cold basement.

As they made their bed on the hard floor, the older angel saw a hole in the wall and repaired it. When the younger angel asked why, the older angel replied... "Things aren't always what they seem".
The next night the pair came to rest at the house of a very poor, but very hospitable farmer and his wife.
After sharing what little food they had the couple let the angels sleep in their bed where they could have a good night's rest. When the sun came up the next morning the angels found the farmer and his wife in tears. Their only cow, whose milk had been their sole income, lay dead in the field.

The younger angel was infuriated and asked the older angel "how could you have let this happen!? The first man had everything, yet you helped him," she accused. "The second family had little but was willing to share everything, and you let their cow die."

"Things aren't always what they seem," the older angel replied. "When we stayed in the basement of the mansion, I noticed there was gold stored in that hole in the wall. Since the owner was so obsessed with greed and unwilling to share his good fortune, I sealed the wall so he wouldn't find it. Then last night as we slept in the farmers bed,the angel of death came for his wife. I gave her the cow instead. Things aren't always what they seem."

Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0

Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support team: Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 5.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 5.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.Please help!

Thanks,"A Troubled User"

Teacher & Student

Teacher : We should prevent mosquito from breeding.

Student : It is impossible.

Teacher : Why ?

Student : Because we cannot make such a small condom.

Less hair

Little Kid was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things.
'Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?' he asked his mother.

'He thinks a lot,' replied his mother, pleased with herself for coming up with a good answer to her husband's baldness.

Or she was until little Kid thought for a second and asked, 'So why do you have so much hair.

Evolution of Human

A little Kid asked his Mom, 'How did the human race appear?'Ba answered, GOD made all of us'

Two days later this Kid asked his Dad the same question. Dad answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.

The confused Kid returned to his mother and said, Mom, how is itpossible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?

'The clever Mom answered, 'Well, Son, it's very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your Dad told you about his.'

Champu ka dukh

Champu dukhi tha

Kisi NE pocha kyon tension main ho?

Champu: yaar ek dost ko plastic surgry k liye 3 lakh diye tahe AB main us ko pehchan nahi pa raha hoon.

The Door Bell

One night a guy dropped his girlfriend at her home.As they were about to wish each other goodnight at the front door, the guy started feeling a little in the mood.
With an air of confidence, he leaned with his hand against the wall and smiling, he said to her "Honey, would you give me a kiss?"
Horrified, she replied, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asked grinning at her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on!There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!".
"No way, it's just too risky!""Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?".
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!".
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't" "I'm begging you ...
"Out of the blue, the light on the stairs went on, andThe girl's elder sister showed up in her pajamas, hair dishevelled, And in a sleepy voice she said,"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss, or I can do it. Or if need Be, mom says she can come down herself and do it, but for God's sake and all of ours....

TELL HIM TO TAKE HIS HAND OFF THE DOOR BELL ........

Who help them.......

A father with his curious son of seven years was walking on a calm road. Boy observed the sex of two dogs which had finally culminated in to locking and dragging them forward.
Boy being curious asks father, “Dad. What both the dogs are doing?
Dad is in trouble. He tells the boy, “My dear son, the dog who is on the top has fractured both his front legs. Hence the dog that is below him is helping him to take him to his home. Come-on do not look at them. Hurry up”
Boy replies, “Dad is it not surprising. That simply means like men, dogs also are ungrateful and fuck to the same, who try to help them out.”

THE BOSS

A guy phones up his Boss, but gets the bosses' wife instead:"I'm afraid he died last week." she explains.The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss."I told you" the wife replies, "he died last week."

The next day he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts:"I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"...........
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"Coz . . ." he replied laughing, "I just love hearing it. . . ."